Sex: What’s Love Got to Do with It

By Kathy Dostaler

Kim Cattrall was in town this week and one thing she said really stuck with me: “A women owes to herself to know what she likes sexually so she can then tell her partner…” She is so right. Originally from Quebec, I moved to Ontario five years ago to go back to University. I had heard of the famous conservatism of Ontarians but somehow I didn’t think that I would find it among young students. I was foolish. On more than one occasion I met women in their mid-twenties, virgin, lost, and looking for a connection but too afraid – at this point – to make one. One even proclaimed that all men were wolves. I couldn’t believe it. The ones less timid would blush at the mention of intercourse, their eyes full of questions they didn’t dare ask. But how can that be possible in a country supposedly promoting knowledge sharing and a high level of education?

Most of us Quebecer take sex as a divine right. If sex stops after marriage, “Then let’s not get married!”, we say, full of convictions. But just sixty years ago, the Catholic religion was forcing women across the province to have up to twenty-one children. So we learned that the Church was, perhaps, not looking out for our best interest. Wikipedia states that “The views of religions and religious believers range widely, from holding that sex and the flesh are evil to the belief that sex is the highest expression of the divine.” The question I have to ask is : How reasonable is it, in 2008, to allow religious defamation to spread across our great country? Canada is a melting pot so therefore there are people who think that sex is evil and promote that opinion in your neighbourhood, passing it on to their children. I beg to differ.

Sex has amazing benefits: gain in energy, increase in oxidation (sends oxygen to your organs), relieves headaches and stress, strengthens muscles and bones, and reduce the risk of heart attack. Now, does that sound evil to you? I discovered that a lot of women were victimizing themselves, adopting the role of the chased rabbit - helpless in front of the big powerful hunter. I have hunted enough men in my life to refuse this theory. The only power that a man has over a woman is the ability to leave her pregnant, stranded and alone to face tough decisions, and perhaps raise a child. There is only one safe way to avoid this situation and it is not abstinence, it is not ignorance, it’s birth control. Has anybody learned anything from Sex in the City? If the genetics are eliminated and our Y chromosome, or lack thereof, is not responsible for the lack of spunk in the female pool then the answer must be found in the environment, namely the parents and education system.

What do you say to a twenty-six years old graduate woman who comes up to you and declare that all men are wolves – just waiting for the opportunity to attack! First of all, those are called rapists my friend, not wolves, and they count for only three percent of the population. “Where do all these misconception come from?” I asked. The answers are always the same: my father, my mother, my culture… What about Canadian culture? What does it stand for? Is it willing to accept that virginity should be valued – secluding women into a world where she cannot grow as a human being, even less nurture and enjoy her own body – or can it stand up for its belief and the rights of all of its citizens?

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